its the most wonderful time of the year

its's finally christmas time!!!!!!!!!
well i am officially done with the semester. it was honestly the worst semester i have had, it was really hard and i don't think i did good in my classes but whatever. i have plenty of other semesters to do well anyways. i am really glad to have a month break before school starts again! i really need it! to answer your question ivan, i haven't started preparing for english camp. i have started saving yes, but as far as starting to get thing i'm going to need, no. i went ice skating for the third time yesterday. i still stink at it but its alot of fun. me and the girls are sore from it but i still think we will be going back again soon. i talked to toni last night and he finally updated me on alex (my ex). that boy is just looking for trouble. he is going back to his old ways already. he needs to learn how to change and commit to God or he will never get anywhere in life. well its his decision not mine. all i can do is pray for him. i'm not sure what i'm going to be doing during christmas break other than trying to get as many hours as possible to save for russia. hopefully some good times will be included. well, i have to go clean the house since my mom's best friend is coming to california tomorrow. "merry christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

thanksgiving

well we had thanksgiving. there was lots of giving as in giving of lectures. yeah i got in trouble for not cleaning the bathroom. my mom made me cleaning that morning, which made me late for work. yep, i worked on thanksgiving, with a horrible cold. oh well, it got me out of babysitting my crazy cousins. i was able to see daniel too, since he was down in cali for thanksgiving. saturday, i had practice for the play all day. i was able to go and hang out with the girls from work that night though too. we went to dinner and then stampede. yep yep, dancing is exactly what i needed. yesterday i was able to spend some time with faith again. that was good. i haven't been able to spend much time with her lately. we ran lines for a while and then just hung out. we got to talk to sarah from florida for a while too. that was pretty sweet! i have a couple papers coming up because the semester's coming to an end. finals and everything are getting ready to happen and i'm a little stressed but excited that the break is almost here! well i have to get to the tech rehearsal but have an amazing week!

how does one save?

well onborder="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5130137185678461586" /> once again i have slacked off on my blogging duties. in my defense i have been very busy and forgetful. well the family force 5 concerts were amazing! way better than i thought they'd be. we actually got to hang out with them and everything! those are pictures from the concert up above. school is going ok, i'm sick of it as always but that's ok. i'm almost done with school though. i have about 4 or 5 more weeks. i'm also working on my schedule for next semester. i'm trying to get fast track or online classes so i don't have to worry about school during english camp. i'm getting really excited to go back, it was so awesome when we went last year and i can't wait to do it again. i gotta start saving up hardcore. i gotta put my money in a safe place and hide the key so i don't use it haha. work's goin pretty good right now, we have several new people but they're all really cool. two of them are christians too so that's a plus. i think my main problem lately is that i've been super lazy. i intend to work on my online class or take care of whatever and instead i end up watching a movie, playing on the internet, or sleeping. i really need to work on that. so ivan, we're in this one together. :) have an amazing week guys!

back in action

well it has certainly been a while since i last posted. i have been very busy lately with school, work, and everything else. i am working a regular amount of hours once again and will try to start posting more often. not a whole lot has changed in the last month. i have mostly been doing the same thing as i do everyday. well i tried to drop my statistics class today but i missed the deadline by a day. i'm not sure what i will do about that. there is no way i can pass that class. i think i will talk to the office and see if there is some way to still drop that stupid class. i went to a kutless concert on friday so that was pretty cool. they're concerts are always fun. i am so excited though because i am going to see family force 5 on thursday and saturday. i love those guys! the concerts are all the way in la and anaheim. we have a little bit of a drive but it won't be too bad. stuff at starbucks is starting to change too. we have 4 people who are changing stores. it should be interesting to see who gets promoted now. i kinda want to be so i can get a raise and more hours for russia. we'll see how it goes. i'm still in search of a warm coat for next years trip. lindsey is going to need her jacket this year so i can't borrow it this time around. not sure where to look, everywhere i go, the coats are super expensive. any ideas guys? well i should get some homework done but any help would be appreciated. God bless!

magic mountain

well i believe my last post was almost a week ago. it's probably time to change that. well wednesday and thursday were normal days nothing super duper exciting. i don't think there was anything super exciting on friday either. i had to close at work that day though. that stunk especially since we had to be at the church at 7 the next day. saturday we went to six flags magic mountain. it was alot of fun and also very scary. those rides are so intense! there was only one that i didn't get on, i have been on it before and i didn't like it. they have a new ride called tatsu that's really cool. you basicly ride on your stomach, the whole ride you fly like superman. it's fun. we ended up staying until the park closed. i slept on the two hour drive home but we didn't get home until 2am. it was very late. we all had church in the morning too. we went to church and smacked each other when one of us fell asleep. afterwards i had play practice. today was the read through so we all just sat there for the first day. i also had to close at work last night and now i'm at school. as you can imagine, i'm a little tired. the excitement for the day yesterday was that my cousin had her baby. her name is iris aurora! i'm so happy for tamsin! yay! my first cousin to have a baby! also, after church alex came and talked to my dad. he wanted to get my dad's blessing to date me before we went official and everything. it went alot better than i thought. i thought it would be really awkward and everything but it wasn't. mostly it was just my dad being really really nervous. haha. well, until next time...

swing dancing

well its been yet another week. this weekend was pretty cool. me, alex, lauren, janae, carissa, and katrina went swing dancing on friday. it was alot of fun except for the fact that none of us remembered how to swing dance. it didn't end up lasting very long because of it. we ended up going out to denny's afterwards which was really yummy. we ended up getting home at like 2 or 3am. it was pretty late. i had to work on saturday too, i was pretty tired. sunday was good. i went over to andrew's house. we watched the chargers vs bears game. it was actually a good game, i was suprised that the chargers could beat somebody especially the bears. weird. it was fun though becuase we were all rooting for different teams and it was getting crazy as always. irma made some really good bbq too! i ate so much! i was really full and sick. then i drove home and my mom had dinner waiting for me so i had to eat again! it was crazy, i haven't been that full since thanksgiving! i had to go to work all full like that too. at least i wasn't hungry so i didn't eat any more of the pastries. school on monday was decent, nothing super exciting. i was really tired in biology though and i kept falling asleep. i felt kinda bad but if that teacher would stop being so monotone we wouldn't be falling asleep. i closed the store last night too, so now i'm at school really tired. i don't really like wednesdays anymore because they're so long. i have school all day and then i have church right after. i have to open in the morning too! so after church tonight i gotta go straight to bed since i have to be at the store at 4am! well i'm still very tired and i have about an hour and a half till i have my class but that's ok. anyways, have a great week everyone!

questions about russia

well i have been sick with a flu for about two or three days now. it's not cool. i hate when i can't eat! i called out of work on sunday so i didn't want to call out again last night. i felt too bad about bailing on everybody on sunday. i still feel like crap but its a little bit better than it was. so that's good. they went easy on me at work and let me take longer breaks since they knew i was still sick. alex knew i was still sick so he called me at work. i was way busy though so i wasn't paying attention. i felt bad. then i went to break and brandy called me out saying there was some guy waiting for me. so i went out there all weirded out wondering who would be there. dude, alex came and bought me a flower to make me feel better. how did i get a good christian guy, i will never know, but i'm glad i did. God has truely blessed me even in my stupidity. i don't deserve any of this. i screwed up and still he allows me to have this relationship. He is truely amazing and i owe Him big time! in other news, i had been very seriously wondering about if i should go or not. i didn't tell any of my friends about my concerns but just prayed about it. then i went and talked to three diff friends and said pray and have God say yes or no and give me a verse. they all said yes and the verse was go into all the world and preach the gospel. that sounds like i'm supposed to go back to russia, don't you think? i'm excited! i'm going back to my other home!

beach baptism

well sunday was our church's annual baptism. it was alot of fun. after church we all went down to oceanside and had a bbq and hung out. then we had the actual baptism and lauren got baptised! it was awsome! layne, our youth leader took us out on his boat too. that was tons of fun! we went out into the ocean and then he just told us to jump out of the boat. so we got to go swimming way out there. that was cool. we also had a bonfire and did worship and smores too! yummy! i'll post pictures from it later when i get them from my dad. yesterday was labor day, so we all had school and work off. me, lauren, janae, and alex all went to bj's for some of that famous pazzookie! (its a giant doughy cookie with ice cream on top) then we went and saw superbad over in murrieta. it was superbad but it was funny too. so that was fun, it was just some nice time of hanging out. sometimes that's exactly what we need. i also went to another storms game last night. that was fun. the storms won, yay! anyways, i still have to do my homework for tomorrow. have a great week!

birthday suprises

well almost done with my second week of school. yay! only 14 more weeks to go. my classes really aren't that bad. i thought biology was going to be alot worse than it really is. i am excited to say that i just might make it through this semester alright. eww yesterday i had to spend the day doing nasty coffee tastings. i hate straight up brewed coffee, its sick. i felt way sick after all of that but its ok. i'm almost done trying all the coffees so it's almost over. i'm excited about trying all the teas though, i love tea. right now i'm in the caff at school waiting for carissa's class to get out and then go to my statistics class. tomorrow is aug 30 and therefore alex's birthday. yep its true. he totally thinks i'm working tomorrow but he doesn't know that i got it off. i still need to call his sister emily and find out what restaurants he likes and make sure they don't have any plans for his birthday but we have a basic idea of what we want to do. he's expecting to just go out to dinner or something with lauren and janae. what he doesn't know is that i'll be at the restaurant waiting for him. hehe yeah i do love suprises. i'm crazy like that. we're also going to set up some cookies or cake or something at youth group for everyone to celebrate his birthday. i can't wait to see his shocked face. it shall be fun. until next time, have a blessed week! "good things come to those who love God" that's the quote for the day even though its actually a verse. :)

school is boring, just so you know

just a picture from the sleepover last week. well i started school on monday. ugh! i'm already over it but that's ok. it's been good having someone i know in my classes though. the last year and a half, i've been on my own and now i have carissa. that's been a major blessing. so that's basickly what's been going on with school. not gonna lie though, i'm a lil excited. i realized how stupid i was for liking my friend for like a week. yeah i think i was just convincing myself that i liked him becuase i wanted someone to like. i know i'm way weird. it worked out for the better that he didn't like me though cause there's a new addition to our church. his names alex and that's all i'm gonna tell ya for now. it's quite promising though we want to wait it out. it's better to take things slow and get to know each other first. yep. the end.

we begin again

so another school year has began. today was the first day of fall semester, unfortunately. i thought that this summer would be time for me to recover from school but i'm still just as tired and don't want to deal with school at all. such is life i guess. well i had all my classes except philosophy which starts on wednesday. they were decent classes, just not all that interesting. i took all the hard and boring ones this semester so i could get them over with and have the easier ones for while i'm in russia. yes i thought it was a good plan too. we started school at 7am this morning, rather early don't you think? it felt horrible! i can't wait till i get used to it and it doesn't feel so bad anymore! i already have homework in all of my classes, that's not normally a very good sign. oh well, at least carissa is taking all the classes with me that will make them much more enjoyable. this week holds nothing super exciting. sunday will be the church baptism though, i'm pretty excited about that. i'm also excited because we are supposed to go to six flags on sep 15, i have only been there once and it should be pretty fun. right now i am at school just waiting for carissa to get out of her math class orientation and then we can go home. friday night i had faith and some of the girls from church over for girls night. i will post some pictures soon so you can see how crazy and ridiculous we are. so until then, have a wonderful week!

prayer please

please continue to pray for my grandma as she isn't healed yet. also, please pray for my friend ally, she might have cancer and she's only 19, she still has her whole life! i think her tumors wont be cancerous though. my friend shiloh also needs prayer. he's really been messing up his life this past year and now he's in the hospital because of it. he tried to commit suicide and almost completely succeeded. he's pretty seriously messed up right now. pray that God would spare his life and renew him. man! why is everything falling apart!?

kasdfkl;jdfiondf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well this summer has indeed been an interesting one. its been continuous ups and down and i'm tired of it. its draining to the point where i just felt sick and disgusting today. just nonstop things happening like being interested in my friend and then being shut down, being excited to see my friend after a summer long missions trip, to have him leave a week later because he decided to move, to my best friends engagement, to my grandma's illness. its been up and down for a couple weeks now. i just want a break! what the heck was all that about this morning? my freakin mom comes in this morning asking me to take my sister to a doctor's appointment because she's gonna go see grandma. ugh! fine! i take her to the appointment. only to find out that she's not just visiting, grandma's seriously ill! faggot! my mom never tells me the whole situation! gosh! i'm freakin 19 years old! i'm not 5! i'm old enough to know when my grandma's ill! sometimes i hate the way that b*tch covers up everything! she told me my aunt katherine was sick like 2 yrs ago and next thing i know, my mom's going to her funeral. (which i wasn't allowed to go to!) i was 16!!! then last summer when vera was sick, i was told she had the stomach flu, you don't die from the stomach flu! she was there the day she died but my mom wasn't adult enough to tell me! at least i was allowed to go to that funeral! now she won't tell me what's going on with my own grandmother!? this sh*t needs to stop now! ugh!!!!! i swear, i've had it!

engagement

acheivement of the day: putting out the backyard fire. regret of the day: not know many people at the party. well i don't have all that much to say, although every time i say that i end up writing a freakin book. well last night i spent the night at chelsea's house and we finally went to bed at 4am. then i got home and there were people at my house having a party. super weird. then i went to matt's house. well my best friend jessica called me on wednesday to tell me that she was engaged. yeah...super weird feeling. i was just at her fiance's house today for their engagement party. i can't believe she's getting married! we've been friends since we were two! wow, i guess we really are growing up now huh? well i'm exhausted and i have church and work tomorrow, so i should get some sleep.

desperation and confusion

sometimes i seriously confuse myself. i'm not quite sure what's wrong with me sometimes. half of my brain says one thing and the other half says the other. i wish my mind would decide! or maybe its my heart and brain that are conflicting. i guess that's what makes it confusion, if i understood and had the answer, i wouldn't be confused. emotions are something that carry way too much weight in our lives and i believe that many times they rule over us. i can honestly say, that mine are ruling over me right now though i wish they weren't. my heart keeps pushing me in a direction my brain is so intensely afraid to go, afraid of the outcome, of the unknown. is this the direction i'm supposed to be headed? is this worth the risk i'm taking? our friendship is so important to me and sometimes i wonder if taking this risk is worth it. is risking my friendship for a chance at a relationship worth it? are these feelings true? are they going to lead me in a positive direction or one toward destruction? is this all just a distraction to mess with my renewed walk with God? sometimes i wish i had the strength and motivation to fully stay focused on my walk with God and not get distracted by guys or whatever. i need to stay focused on the true romance. Divine romance lyrics-phil wickham The fullness of Your grace is here with meThe richness of Your beauty’s all I seeThe brightness of Your glory has arrivedIn Your presence God, I’m completely satisfiedFor You I sing I danceRejoice in this divine romanceLift my heart and my handsTo show my love, to show my loveA deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from YouOf deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the roomYour innocent blood, has washed my guilty lifeIn Your presence God I’m completely satisfied

hairspray, hairdye, and a waterslide?

i'm sorry, its very true that i haven't posted in a while. my life has been busy and when i finally get home at night, i want to sleep instead of write. well i spent some time with faith, she stayed with us for a few days to just hang out and everything. that was fun and obviously very crazy. we also had the 5th and 6th grade retreat at our house, we rented a huge waterslide and the kids ran around. it was alot of fun. on sunday i finally got to see my cousin again! i haven't seen her in 5 years. it was alot of fun to be able to hang out with her again. after that i went to my friend natalie's house and she cut my hair way shorter than it was! ahhh! i miss my hair! she died it red and blonde though, its awsome, i love it. other than that, i have really just been working and reading. i'm almost done with the last harry potter book, its exciting and sad at the same time. i don't want it to be over. well my sister's friend is coming over today to hang out and we're going to fill up the pool, yeah i know its late in the summer but hey this is california, it'll be hott for another couple months. i'm excited though, a group of us are going to chipotle for dinner and then seeing hairspray, it should be a good one. :) hope you all have a blessed week!

LA is scar-ay

well we went to the beach for the week and pretty much just relaxed. joseph came over for a couple hours and that didn't exactly go well. my family almost killed me when they saw him, i guess i can't blame them, i thought he was a freak when i met him too. we're just friends though, it's not like we're getting together or anything so i don't see the big deal. we also went to LA for the weekend. me, sarah, and corissa went to csun to check out the school and see if we liked it. it was awsome, it's totally where i want to go next year for school. the only thing was that when we got back to my car, the tire was flat. we had to wait for AAA to put the spare on instead. we wanted to take the car to the mechanics but they were already closed, so unfortunately we couldn 't go swing dancing. then the next day we were going to go to the fashion district but alas, my tire was still flat. we took it to get it patched and they guy told us there was nothing wrong with the tire and that someone probably took the air out. he filled it back up and sent us on our way. an hour later it was flat again. so we took it to another place and it took two hours to get my tire taken care of. we hung out in the apple store until they called. so my car aka katrina, kinda killed our weekend but we still had fun despite her short comings. other than that, i went to church yesterday, had a church meeting at my house, and cleaned out my closet today. ugh! i can't believe how much junk i had in there! well, i have work in the morning so i should go to sleep. have an amazing night, guys! sleep well and i'm praying for ya!

sleep is a powerful thing and boy do i miss it

well we did go dancing last night and got home around 3am so i'm pretty tired. it was alot of fun though, there was a whole group of us girls going to the stampede to go dancing. we were so ridiculous, none of us knew the dances at all! haha. well i went to church this morning dead tired and with x's still on my hands but that's ok. everyone thought i was sick because my voice was going, i think it was from all the yelling over the music last night though. after church the family finished packing up the rv, they just left a minute ago. it stinks, they're at the beach relaxing and i have to go to work. oh well, at least i like the people i'm working with. everyone at church wants me to go bowling but i have got to take a nap before work tonight or i wont make it... i feel really guilty for some reason. yesterday when i found out that sean's girlfriend had been cheating on him, i was slammed with guilt. it was very weird. it's almost like if i hadn't been avoiding it, we would be together and he never would have ended up with her, and never been hurt. somehow i have made this all my fault. i don't understand why i am doing that but i am. i put everyone's problems on my own shoulders. i've decided that i care too much about people. on the bright side, my worries might not be in vain; faith is finally starting to do better i think.

boys...i tell ya!

so once again i must begin my ranting and raving on how much guys frustrate me. all day yesterday i was being hit on! it's so stupid, i can't go anywhere without being bugged! like i took my sister and her friend to the mall yesterday and the guy in the store kept hitting on me. guys c28 is a christian store, it should be a safe haven but i dread going in there because i know that guy works there. christian pick up lines are just ridiculous too, its really hilarious. he was totally trying to use them on me. even mikaela picked up on it, she's like 12. she looked at me and she's like that guy really likes you. i was like you think? i realized that forever ago! then i go to work and get it again. i don't know about this whole thing. he has a freakin girlfriend! go enjoy your girlfriend and leave me alone please. whatever. anyways, i have work again tonight but i'm not sure who i'm working with. me and mom are probably going to get pedacures for the beach next week. which by the way i won't be on the internet pretty much all week because we'll be at the beach and then i'm going to my aunt's in LA. well i better go get dressed and ready for the day cause i'm going out dancing tonight! yay!

God bless America and other such patriotism

i actually wrote this yesterday for the 4th of july but here it is: it's kinda been a while hasn't it? wow, i am officially a slacker. that's ok though, i'm american and therefore i am allowed to sit on my butt and take my wealth for granate. it's july 4th and with that comes the need to be patriotic and excited about our beloved country. let us celebrate our laziness, let us celebrate our selfishness. let us celebrate our unappreciated wealth. let us celebrate our freedoms that we don't fully take advantage of. let us celebrate our rights that are slowly being pryed from our relaxed hands. guys, what the heck are we doing!? this is ridiculous! we as americans have everything other countries want! do you ever wonder why they're always watching us? its because we have the power and freedoms that they want so desperately! so what do we do with it? nothing. we sit in front of our computers and play with myspace, we sleep for 12 hours and then watch tv, we go to our prestigious jobs at target to make our 7.50 an hour and spend it on worthless things. this is so completely wrong! just hearing from blake and ivan has really made me realize how ridiculous all of this is! seriously! we have so much and we don't even realize it, even compared to the russians who have become extremely americanized, we have sooo much! why do we live like this? we don't take the time to realize what we have, embrass it, and use it for something more than ourselves. guys, america is a country founded on God, how many other countries can say that? we need to use it for His glory and stop wasting it! guys, God has so much more for us and this country but we're too lazy to do anything about it! we have the power of the almighty God inside of us! the power that created this entire earth is inside of you, and what is it doing? it's crying out to you to use it! embrass it, take it for what it is guys! He's given it to us for a reason, let's not waste it. today as we're watching fireworks and eating BBQ i challenge you to get off your butts and get on your knees for yourselves and for our country.