Round 3: California

Well i did finish out my time in russia which was amazing of course. i survived the hard times there and came out stronger because of them. God places every situation and moment over there in my life for a reason. I cannot thank him enough for the opportunity i had to work over there. i ended up coming home for only about a week and i was busy taking care of school stuff and packing up before leaving again for new jersey. that was also a trying but rewarding time. some of the kids that i worked with over there had some extremely difficult lives to live and i was amazed that they were still pulling through. alot of the girls were very hard to work with but in the end i was able to see changes in some of them and that's a blessing. i did end up meeting a guy there as well. however, dating is not in our future. i do sometimes tend do jump into things i shouldn't and this happened to be one of them. however, as stupid and hurt i felt by the whole situation, it helped remind me to be content with what i have here. it reminded me of some of the amazing things i have in my life here and sometimes you really dont need any more than that. i am back in school once again and wishing i wasn't. i am also still looking for a job back here in california. in most ways i have readjusted to life in california but in some ways, i have definitely changed during this 6 month period and i will never fit exactly into that same mold i was in before. my family life is still completely different from the way its been the last 22 years. i think it will take me quite a while to get used to the new strains in our house. the court date has been postponed until october 22 and then we find out if my parents and i have custody or not. this has been a long a difficult battle, that i still dont understand the purpose of, i'm still frustrated with it and wish things would just go back to how they were. but there seems to be no end to the nonsense with this. where is the end of this God? why are you still toying with my family and our lives? what is it you're doing because i really cant see it. so much of this feels meaningless and painful. i just want some rest from all of this, i want back out of california. God give me rest, peace, and faith. Praise Him always!