This is your Wake up Call, Put on Love!!!

Well, I am finally back in Temecula. This past week has been awesome. God really worked up on the mountain, as He is always faithful to do.

The junior highers were alot of fun and alot easier to keep track of. They were really good about sticking with me. We goofed off, played dead cockroach, and shouted the Bref Stank song. Most importantly though, God worked in my girls lives. The girls mostly learned about how we need to be prepared for the Lord's return and stop sleeping. Some also learned about how to love your enemy when they hate you. Another learned that she needs to be a witness to her dad. In the junior high camp, I relearned a simple lesson. God reminded me how important my Christian friends really are. We need that encouragement and accountability we get with good fellowship. Even luke-warm Christians can bring you down, its not just nonchristians. He also reminded me of His faithfulness in answering prayer. He answered even the silliest prayers up there, just to remind me of His love! Prais Him!

The high schoolers were also really good. We had two get sick but that's the only real problem that we had. I was able to really connect and talk to some of my girls in a way I haven't before. Because of my girls openness and willingness to be change, God did just that. He totally broke them, overwhelmed them, and renewed them, we even had a kid get saved!!! How awesome is that!? God really reminded me about meekness on the high school retreat. I had already finished the junior high retreat and I still had another one to do. I was exhausted and my patience was wearing out. God showed me that I need to not be making comments or fighting back if someone annoys me. "Let it just roll off your back" God is faithful to teach us if we are willing. :)

When i got home from the high school camp, me and Leanna had to drive over to Disneyland to meet up with my mom and Denise. I only lasted a couple hours because I was exhausted but it was good to hang out with them for a while and see them on their birthdays. So at about 12:30 last night, I have finally returned home, changed and renewed. Next step, clean my room and house before the Russians arrive on Wednesday. Praise Him always!

How many Teresa's does it take to complete the next few weeks?

well my best friend has now been wrongfully fired from starbucks as well. i find it dishearting to know that these things can continue to happen and nobody can stop it. she'll be leaving for Fiji tomorrow on a missions trip and i wont see her for two weeks. its sad to think i wont see her for that long but we'll both be really busy during that time. today i'm supposed to meet up with one of my old co-workers for lunch, meet up with another one to stock up for the retreat, go visit another friend who's injured, and spend time with Carissa before she leaves for Fiji. i think it's gonna be a busy day. tomorrow i will have to pack and clean up a little bit because sunday, right after church i leave for the retreats. i was only supposed to be the counselor for high school but the jr high counselor backed out. so i'm going up the mountain with the jr highers and then staying there until the high schooler leave a week later. once i finally get home from the retreat, i'm supposed to turn around and go up to anaheim to go to disneyland with my mom for her birthday. then i'll have a day or two to finish changing my room before natalie and irina get here. then the fun times will begin))it's going to be a very fun next couple weeks but its going to be very long and tiring. please pray that i will have patience with the people around me and the energy to accomplish everything i need to up at camp.

Sometimes you need to tear down to build up

well it has definitely been a long time since i've updated this thing. i believe its been since before i went back to Russia. life's been interesting lately. alot of things have changed. i no longer have my job at starbucks. as most of you know, i was framed for a lot of stuff there and ended up being fired for things i didn't do. after that, i ended up babysitting Breanna and Nicholis (the kids who used to live with us) that was one of the coolest jobs, God blessed me to allow me to have it. i was able to hang out with the kids that i really care about and just hang out with them and be an encouragement to them. i no longer work as their babysitter anymore but i know that God has already set aside a new job for me. i just need to sit back and trust instead of stress about it. its been cool lately too. since i don't have a regular job, i have a flexable schedule and i've been able to spend more time with my christian friends and have fellowship. it was difficult at starbucks being constantly surrounded by filth. so its been awesome to be able to detox and be surrounded with God's word and people for a while. my walk has improved so much lately and i'm so excited about it. God's been tearing apart alot of aspects of my life but sometimes to need to tear down to build up. here's my recommended reading for the day 1 peter 1 and also the book called captivating for you girls. its absolutely amazing. it'll totally change your perspective on life as a christian woman. Praise Him always!

repetition

he's back in the hospital again. not learning from the same mistake.

confessions of an adult herion addict???

well it has definitely been a while since i have written on here. so much has changed. i've been back from russia for a while now and i had been working on getting back over there to do a stent for a year. i finally have resolution on that, i will be moving over there march of 2010. school? well i didn't go this semester but i am starting back up again in january. as well as promoting at that time. me and jake dated for about 5 or 6 months but it did not end smoothly like we would have hoped for. there were issues with jealousy, insecurity, and trust that we could not resolve and chose to return to just friends. there were weaks of fighting and frustration but we are once again on good terms.
however, this is not my purpose in returning to this profile. i have returned to this in order to vent my frustration, betrayal, and hurt. maybe i am overreacting, "making a big deal out of nothing" but somehow i don't think so. i have discovered that my friend is in fact a heroin addict. i have seen the signs for a while now. somebody once jokingly said "he's tweaking" i laughed and brushed it off but it has in fact, remained in the back of my mind to fester and grow. i continued to watch his jitters, pacing, his vomiting, lack of appetite, and weird sleeping patterns. yet i told myself i was reading too much into it, imagining things. that's just his personality. then one day he is throwing up uncontrolably to the point where i thought i'd have to drive him home or to the hospital. says he ate something weird or is getting the flu. i take it at face value.
next thing i know he's disappeared. doesn't return calls or texts. nobody knows where he is. suddenly a call from his brother. he's in the hospital. two more weeks of nothing. a month later he comes back, says he had some serious condition, that it was taken care of and that he went to a rehabiliation center to restrengthen his muscles. once again i believe but wonder what this condition is. i ask and he just says its complicated. i let it go.
later i borrow a book from him. beautiful boy. the story of an addict. with every page i turn, the signs begin to present themselves to me. i continue to ignore. the farther i get in the book, the more i see it until they are throwing themselves at me and screaming it in my face. "he's addicted to something!" i know it is not meth like the kid in the story but i don't know my drugs well enough to identify which one it is.
suddenly some truth. something revealed. a little light in all the darkness and confusion. a friend of his. "he's been doing heroin. he overdosed and ended up in the hospital." "don't ever tell him you know, he's so embarrassed" this isn't the first time i bring it up to him. "are you on drugs?" once again "no." i want to believe him so badly. i do anything i can to continue to convince myself that everything is ok. that he isn't lying to me. that he would trust me enough to tell me if something was happening. no. i can't hide it. its lies. he's addicted. i'm deceived. i'm a fool. i can't even look his friend in the eyes for fear of breaking down in front of him and the rest of the people around us. i continue to shut off the emotion, the fear, and the betrayal. but as i type this the reality is slowly dawning on me. he is addicted and i can't help him. i can't save him, and i can't cure him. i can only watch, pray and hope. hope for a future for him. hope that he'll stay sober. hope that he'll one day be honest with me about it. now i sit here fighting the tears that so desperately want to stream down my face, i take in the reality that my tears will not help, save, or even phase a heroin addict.

smores! who could want more?

well once again, i have begun to slack on my blogging duties. i have been quite busy with school and work lately. i've also been working hard on getting the spaghetti dinner worked out. its alot more work than i expected but it needed to be done if i wanted the funds for Russia this year. things are finally falling together again. we have the date set for the dinner and the restraunt knows how many people and all of that. also, i got a few more pledges for money so that's good. its looking more and more promising that i'm going back to Russia. i can't wait to go back! me, chelsea, and jake went back to santa rosa on saturday again. it was fun but i don't think chelsae was enjoying it that much and it brought things down a little bit. we got to make smores too! yummy! i love making smores. i am officially sick once again though. yuck. i think i never got all the way over the cold i had in january but whatever. :) have a blessed week!

assistant managers and checking accounts

well school has been going pretty well. nothing too exciting there. work is alright. we have a temporary assistant manager right now that i can't stand though. he drives me up the wall! he gave us all these stupid nicknames that we have to go by and he tried drawing on my face with permanent marker. he needs to go! i'm sick of his nonsense, i want lisa back! :( so today i went online to check and make sure that everything was ok with my checking account and my retard mom just screwed it all up. i had given her a check and then asked her to not cash it. so i gave her cash instead. so yesterday she went and cashed it anyways. now i'm overdrawn and my check for russia will bounce! ugh! so sick of checking accounts! i hate taking care of money and making sure there's the right amount in it still. cash is so much easier! oh well whatever, but i'm giving my mom serious crap when she gets home!